Stress

Posted: 6 November 2010 in Thoughts, Travel

There is simply no other word to describe how the last couple weeks have been. My roller coaster of life not only gone up and down, but has done twists, turns, loops and 90 degree drops. It almost sounds like I’ve been to hell and back and it almost feels like it, just that hell has not yet left.

I figure, since I am writing this blog mainly to document the adventures of my life, this would be a prime example. Not all my adventures are pleasurable. Sure being in Thailand is a treat and the people here and the kids I work with are lovely, but that doesn’t mean stress isn’t lurking in some corner waiting to strike, cause she is (in this case the stress was caused by a she).

To start of this undesirable fiasco, I have been dealing with a stomach bug for the last little while. I have no idea if I have some creature clinging to the wall of my intestines begging for more food, or if in fact my stomach has finally had it with the spicy food and is telling me that enough is enough. Either way, spicy food has been killing me and today I tried some dairy (ice cream) again and I seem to be doing ok. It has not been fun and I just do not have the money to be buying myself bland food for the next 10 weeks. Nor do I want to suffer. So I have sort of compromised with some peanut butter and jelly in my room and some of the food here. If I can’t deal with the spiciness, I always have backup.

The second stress has been that illness has been running rampant these last few days. It started I believe with Anchalee. It is a known thing with myself that anyone gets sick around me, 9 times out of 10 I will catch it, and I did. Tuesday, after a wonderful dinner out with the missionaries on monday, I felt awful and went to bed after enduring myself to the added torture of the required online work for the organisation. Once I finished it, I said goodnight to Jirasak and headed off to bed. I did not want to get any of the kids sick so I figured it best to stay away from them. I ended up being bedridden for two additional days, one of which resulted in a strike against me (all because I didn’t send in a report for one day (interesting since I didn’t send a report in for two days) as Jirasak hadn’t sent a note in about those two as he had the first day) No mind to that as the kid who gave it I can’t stand to begin with. It was torture lying there hearing everyone playing and wanting to play but feeling like ______ (enter any nasty phrase or explicit).

When I was finally able to vacate my room, it was revealed, to my great pleasure, that some of the kids had asked about me and wanted visit me, but as I was ill were not allowed. That really made my day (it also made my day to scare Ellen but that’s not as endearing). I am pleased to say that I am feeling much better and almost back to normal. The sad thing is that Zoe and Vanina are both now ill and I am most positive they caught it from me. More stress!!!

The final amount of stress came from the departure of a recent arriving director. While the story itself is truly on of grit and drama, I shall not delve into the explicit details as they would be incredibly long to write and trivial to most, if not all, readers. The end result was confusion and feelings of betrayal and not knowing who to trust. Long story short, Zoe (a new arriving director) and I clashed from the get go. We are both strong personalities and strong personalities don’t tend to play very well together. Other nameless new arriving director and I seemed to have a great relationship and vented to about Zoe and how she couldn’t stand these things. Because of my original indifference towards Zoe, it began to turn to dislike, as least when pertaining to thing with the centre. Once said director was gone, things were said which were not in accordance to what I had said and were making me look like a bad guy who was trying to cause trouble. In order to resolve this, I sat Zoe down and detailed everything.

It was quite the revealing conversation. We were both surprised at what the other had to say and couldn’t believe that we had been played for fools. I took this slap in the face personally as I had been talked to about how I could be trusted and all that stuff. It was difficult for me then to know what to do or who to trust. I told Zoe I’d send another e-mail out detailing what we had discussed and that things were better between us, but as I was writing the e-mail, it occurred to me that I wasn’t even sure I completely trusted her. I noted this in the e-mail as well. Now that some days have passed since the conversation, it proved to be quite beneficial as our relationship has improved dramatically. Sure things aren’t perfect but when are they? It is just sad that things had to turn out this way for other things to get better.

So as noted by the title, this last stretch of life has proved quite stressful. Not to mention of course the inability of getting any information from a bank about putting a student loan in forbearance. They just cannot make things easy. I’m in fricking Thailand and they won’t even give my mother the information on what I need to do to get these loans done. Pisses me off. And if I have to call them to get this resolved I will tell them very plainly of my disappointment and annoyance. Customer service my ass.

Anyway. As can be seen this has been a very stressful week. I’m hoping tomorrow (sunday) ends the week fine and that next week can be the start of an amazing week 🙂

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